(no subject)

[deshabille_maladicta]

This was the worst feeling in the world. Maladicta had suffered going Cold Bat, twice, had seen one extremely unpleasant and one viciously frightening war (simultaneously) and, since her arrival on the island, come up against a myriad of generally uncomfortable and sometimes frightening experiences, mostly different versions of being sick or wounded that had never been a possibility before. This was the worst feeling so far.

She had her pack over her shoulder and her gaze on the ground, though she wasn't especially seeing it. She was wound up, too many thoughts going around her head for her to be much of anything but distracted, and anyway her vision was blurry. She couldn't hold on to any one thought long enough to look at it or grapple with it. They all just crammed together and shifted around.

The compound was her destination, and if she hadn't decided that before taking off to stride brusquely into the night she couldn't fathom where she'd have ended up. The night didn't used to be a problem for her. On the contrary, it had always been a boon, a relief, especially after wearing the Ribbon. Now she was almost as blind in it as anyone though, again, the tears didn't help.

She just needed someplace to curl up, and she could deal with it all in the morning. She was sure. She had to be, or else everything would simply fall apart, even more than it already had.

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[headline-maker.livejournal.com]

It was the sight of her that startled Sacharissa when she drew closer, the obvious hurt - what looked to be tears. Just looking at her set Sacharissa's heart near to breaking, but she couldn't look away. She'd never been able to look away from Maladicta. And if she'd thought she'd been angry with William before, she was finding out she was wrong; she was only just getting started.

"Here, dear," she called, voice all terrified tenderness as she dashed closer. "Maladicta..."

[dishabille-mal.livejournal.com]

Maladicta stopped, breath seizing up a little. Oh, damn.

"Sacharissa," she said, voice thick, annoyed with herself, now. "Oh, Gods..." There wasn't any point in pretending she wasn't upset, as she blatantly was. And there wasn't any point in pretending she was upset about anything other than she was. As much as she loathed the idea of displaying her relationship with William in front of her friend- and she did, even, apparently, the bits where it was falling apart (and that thought made her feel nauseous)- Sacharissa was her friend, one of the only, now, and that didn't do much to help her defenses.

[headline-maker.livejournal.com]

Firmly disregarding all Maladicta's issues with touch and proximity, Sacharissa hugged her as soon as she was near enough - a proper hug, the kind friends ought to give each other and which she couldn't recall ever offering up before. Jane had done it for her countless times and it did surprising good. "He's an utter bastard, Mal, a complete and total ass to talk to you that way," she seethed.

[dishabille-mal.livejournal.com]

The bag slipped from her shoulder as she brought her arms around to return the hug. More, to hold onto Sacharissa, tightly, and bury her face against the other woman's shoulder and neck for a long moment. Her body tensed, holding her breath, squeezing her eyes shut, until she could swallow it down again.

"He just went too far," she murmured, miserably. "I expected- But not that- And oh, gods, the fight..."

[headline-maker.livejournal.com]

She hadn't entirely been prepared for the consequences of hugging Maladicta, and she almost let go at the feeling those arms around her. Reaching gingerly up to stroke Maladicta's hair, she bit her lip, eyes closing. "Shh," she said softly. "He shouldn't have done that. It was all wrong. I'm so sorry he's so stupid..."

Not like she didn't understand why William had done what he'd done, but there was no excuse for it, not for the lengths he'd gone to. There was no justifying it. He could argue he had to prove he wasn't partial 'til he was blue in the face, and Sacharissa would take it until he drew a breath and she could get a word in edgewise. There was such a thing as being too impartial, so impartial you were just biased in a different kind of way.

[dishabille-mal.livejournal.com]

"So am I," Maladicta said darkly, but the strength of the anger that she'd wielded had been fading for a while, now, and she only ducked her head further, so her forehead was against the slope of Sacharissa's shoulder.

[headline-maker.livejournal.com]

Still petting that dark hair, Sacharissa turned her head so she could speak closer to Maladicta's ear, voice gentle by pure force of will. "What happened?" she asked quietly. "You don't have to talk about it, that is, but I'm here if you want to."

[dishabille-mal.livejournal.com]

"A fair amount of yelling and obstinacy," Maladicta said, catching a steadying sort of breath, and pulling back a little, reaching up to drag the back of her hand across her lashes.

"Regardless, I can't... be around him, right now."

[headline-maker.livejournal.com]

She wouldn't have expected less from either of them, but the answer still stung a little and she was left wondering how she could let herself get so caught up in their lives that she was hurt by arguments that had nothing to do with her.

"He's an ass," she said again, partly because it was a nice change. "Where are you going?"

[dishabille-mal.livejournal.com]

If the circumstances were any other, if it had just been a row, not a row and walking away, she would have laughed at the language, mostly out of pride.

"I don't really know," she said. "The crash room, perhaps, or the IPD office."

[headline-maker.livejournal.com]

Sacharissa drew back further, running a hand comfortingly down Maladicta's arm before leaning down to pick up Mal's bag, slipping it over her shoulder. "No," she said firmly, "you're coming with me. Alright? My hut would be much more comfortable, and I doubt he'll look for you there." She wasn't even sure William would look for Maladicta in the first place - not tonight. He was too proud.

[dishabille-mal.livejournal.com]

"Sacharissa, I really don't want to be a-" her voice faltered, and she glanced down briefly, then shook it off, "a nuisance. It's kind of you, of course, but..."

[headline-maker.livejournal.com]

She gave her a hard look at that, but it softened at once and she didn't have it in her heart to scold this time. "You're not a nuisance," she said gently. "You never are. I don't want to see you have to sleep somewhere uncomfortable and public, particularly not when you're upset like this. Honestly, I'd worry."

[dishabille-mal.livejournal.com]

"...All right," Maladicta says softly, because she doesn't have it in her to fight. And selfishly- and she knows it's selfish- she wants to be around Sacharissa. She's the closest friend she has.

She needs someone to feel safe around.

[headline-maker.livejournal.com]

Sacharissa's expression shifted, softened, a slow smile forming, and she adjusted the strap on her shoulder. Once it was hanging more comfortably, she held out a hand to Maladicta - then slid her arm through hers instead, linking them the way she would walk with Jane. She needed a barrier like that, needed to think of it that way: This I would do with Jane and this, but never that. Safety of a different kind.

"Good," she said quietly, leading the way back toward Green Arrow Estates. "You can stay as long as you need, but you mustn't ever think you're being a burden. I don't know why everyone's so certain they are. It's what friends are meant to do."

[dishabille-mal.livejournal.com]

Maladicta leaned slightly into the comfort of the gesture.

"Thank you. I... hopefully it won't be long. I mean it can't be..." She sounded unsure and doubtful and, under that, faintly scared.

"More than a few days, I'm sure."

[headline-maker.livejournal.com]

"Not even that," Sacharissa said soothingly. She'd seen William fight a hundred battles, half of them against her. He was stubborn as the day was long and prouder even than that, but she couldn't imagine he would risk his relationship with Maladicta.

[dishabille-mal.livejournal.com]

Maladicta nodded a little, fingers absently curling and uncurling against Sacharissa's sleeve, a nervous gesture, the only place it physically showed.

"Right," she said softly, and then, after a moment of being very quiet, "I'm so furious with him."

[headline-maker.livejournal.com]

"With every right." Sacharissa's own fingers curled, muscles tensing in her free arm, as if she wished he were there right then so she could crack him a good one. He'd deserve it. "The way he behaved was completely uncalled for." Slanting through the trees, the moonlight dappled Maladicta when Sacharissa looked over at her, patches of blue illuminating the perfect line of her face.

[dishabille-mal.livejournal.com]

She she shook her head a little, eyes flashing, catching the moonlight reflected off the pale of her skin- she was just so bloody angry- but the hurt made her tired and her head was fuzzy from crying, so she closed her eyes for a moment until it passed. Then she narrowed them at Sacharissa.

"What the hell were you doing walking around alone in the dark?"

[headline-maker.livejournal.com]

"I was walking," Sacharissa said dryly. "Sometimes I go for a walk. It's nice out here alone at night." They weren't far from the hut now. Sacharissa couldn't help walking with her head half-turned at all times, a gentle ache tugging at the side of her neck to remind her that this wasn't the most comfortable of positions.

[dishabille-mal.livejournal.com]

"Don't be clever at me," Maladicta said dryly, arching an eyebrow and glancing over at Sacharissa. "If my head weren't an absolute mess I'd be giving you a very disapproving look, you know."

[headline-maker.livejournal.com]

In a way, that made Maladicta's being upset all the more unfortunate. Sacharissa wouldn't have admitted it aloud, but she sort of liked the disapproving look. "I'm a grown woman, Maladicta, nearly 23," she said with a soft laugh. "I'm capable of walking on my own, I really am."

[dishabille-mal.livejournal.com]

Maladicta pulled a face at that, very lightly clicking her tongue against the back of her teeth.

"Oh, you're older than me," she murmured, "That's ridiculous."

[headline-maker.livejournal.com]

"Ha!" Sacharissa said, triumph encapsulated in a single syllable. "You see? And you walk around at night by yourself. There's nothing the least bit wrong with it." As they came closer to the hut, she sped her steps, again adjusting the strap of Maladicta's bag on her shoulder.