(no subject)

[deshabille_maladicta]

This was the worst feeling in the world. Maladicta had suffered going Cold Bat, twice, had seen one extremely unpleasant and one viciously frightening war (simultaneously) and, since her arrival on the island, come up against a myriad of generally uncomfortable and sometimes frightening experiences, mostly different versions of being sick or wounded that had never been a possibility before. This was the worst feeling so far.

She had her pack over her shoulder and her gaze on the ground, though she wasn't especially seeing it. She was wound up, too many thoughts going around her head for her to be much of anything but distracted, and anyway her vision was blurry. She couldn't hold on to any one thought long enough to look at it or grapple with it. They all just crammed together and shifted around.

The compound was her destination, and if she hadn't decided that before taking off to stride brusquely into the night she couldn't fathom where she'd have ended up. The night didn't used to be a problem for her. On the contrary, it had always been a boon, a relief, especially after wearing the Ribbon. Now she was almost as blind in it as anyone though, again, the tears didn't help.

She just needed someplace to curl up, and she could deal with it all in the morning. She was sure. She had to be, or else everything would simply fall apart, even more than it already had.

Comments

[dishabille-mal.livejournal.com]

"To be fair, I'm armed and actually know how to use it now," Maladicta pointed out, keeping pace easily with Sacharissa. "And I don't walk alone at night often." Usually because she would wait for William so that he wouldn't walk alone at night, to be fair.

[headline-maker.livejournal.com]

"I have my spring-gonne," Sacharissa responded easily, "though it's not on me at the moment." She pushed open the door of the little hut, ushering Sacharissa in ahead of her. "It's small, but it's home, I suppose."

[dishabille-mal.livejournal.com]

"It's lovely," Maladicta said, smiling a little, which wasn't easy, but at least was easier with Sacharissa in close proximity.

"And impressive because you did it yourself."

[headline-maker.livejournal.com]

"Well, it stands up at least," Sacharissa sighed. Stepping inside, she walked over to her bed. She shrugged off the bag, letting it slide onto the sheet. "I don't spend much time in it, really, so it serves its purpose."

[dishabille-mal.livejournal.com]

"It has a comforting feel to it," she said, because it's cozy wasn't quite right. But it wasn't hers, and she was feeling that acutely, suddenly, like a sting in her breast, but she tried not to let on.

[headline-maker.livejournal.com]

Sacharissa didn't quite agree, but she didn't want to say so - to point out that, alone at night, there was no comfort in the small hut. Having Maladicta there made it seem a little more like a home. "Please," she said, "make yourself comfortable. Have a seat."

[dishabille-mal.livejournal.com]

"Thank you." Maladicta nodded a little and sat, dropping with near alarming speed but more than enough grace to an easy crouch, then lowered herself so she sat on the floor, knees half drawn up.

"I am utterly exhausted," she sighed, sounding mostly annoyed by it.

[headline-maker.livejournal.com]

And still Sacharissa was on her feet, rocking from foot to foot before she made herself stop. There was a moment's stillness, and then she was leaning over to remove her boots. "You should sleep," she said. "Get some rest. It'll all clear up come morning. Maybe he'll wake up and realize he's being a moron." There was a first time for everything, after all.

[dishabille-mal.livejournal.com]

Maladicta laughed once, a short sound that would have been sharp under normal circumstances. As it was, it seemed to lack some humor.

"Maybe," she said softly, not skeptically but clearly not with any faith. Barely any hope, even. She reached down, pulling her boots off, a little absently.

"Sacharissa," she said, after a moment, looking up. "Thank you again."

[headline-maker.livejournal.com]

"You're welcome," Sacharissa murmured, a reflex more than anything else - the proper thing to say at the proper time. "Now stop thanking me. I'd do more if there was anything I could do." Although she had a good mind to do more come the morning, just as soon as she could find William.

[dishabille-mal.livejournal.com]

"I'm only stopping because you told me to and you're a gracious hostess," Maladicta said, before pulling off the white shirt she usually went around in, leaving her in the tanktop beneath and her uniform trousers. She folded the shirt and put it in her bag, frowning briefly at the still missing, long-gone clasp.

[headline-maker.livejournal.com]

She was starting to see the flaw in this plan.

"Well, while you're doing as I say, I hope you know you're taking the bed," Sacharissa said, eyes still turned delicately away. She smoothed her palms flat against her skirt, weighing whether or not it was really necessary for her to strip down to her shift tonight.

[dishabille-mal.livejournal.com]

"I assumed we both were," Maladicta said, glancing at the not-substantial space of the floor, then back at Sacharissa, one eyebrow lifting slightly.

"I assumed you'd never let me sleep on the floor and that you'd have no possibly reason why you can't sleep in your own bed when I take up very little room."

[headline-maker.livejournal.com]

At least one of those assumptions had been correct. Unfortunately, it wasn't the last bit, but Sacharissa didn't have a thing she could say to that. Except. "Are you sure? It's not the biggest bed; it would be much more comfortable for one."

[dishabille-mal.livejournal.com]

"I refuse to put you out of your own bed when there's a compound relatively nearby with extras," Maladicta said.

[headline-maker.livejournal.com]

"...Right." Sacharissa bit at her lip, then nodded, shimmying carefully out of her skirt, reaching up to unbutton the plain white blouse she'd worn that day. Her hair was still all pinned up, keeping it out of the way now that even the nights were warm. "That makes sense."

[dishabille-mal.livejournal.com]

"Of course it does," Maladicta drawled with a wry half smile, something nearer her usual self than what she'd been on the path. She stood to undo and slide off her jeans, stepping out of them and bending briefly over to grab the small cotton shorts she slept in out of her back, then pulled them on, up over her hips, though not very far. They weren't designed to go high.

"And I do promise I won't take up much space," she said, actually quite earnestly.

[headline-maker.livejournal.com]

"Oh, don't worry about that," Sacharissa said, waving a dismissive hand as she turned away to hide the color rising on her cheeks. It wasn't as if she hadn't shared a room with other girls before - school had been like that - but this was very, very different. There was on overstating how Different this was. It was very difficult to get more Different.

Slowly she crossed the room - what little there was to cross - and sat at the edge of the bed. "Are you going to be alright?" she asked softly.

[dishabille-mal.livejournal.com]

"Yes," Maladicta said, not looking or sounding particularly convincing. "Yes, I'm just a bit shaken by the whole thing. I haven't been that angry in a while." And the last time she had been, there had been a rather lot of damage to public property. No one had attempted to foot her with a bill.

[headline-maker.livejournal.com]

Sacharissa reached out a hand to her, beckoning. "Come over here," she said quietly. "Come on. It's alright now. It's alright to be angry. He deserved it."

[dishabille-mal.livejournal.com]

Maladicta blinked, a little, then went to sit beside her friend, swallowing down the thick feeling that still sat in her throat, absently squeezing Sacharissa's hand as she did.

"I know. I know he did. Somehow it doesn't make it easier. Which is unfair: it should."

[headline-maker.livejournal.com]

Sacharissa nodded, lowering her head. "I know," she said softly. "It ought to - and sometimes it does, for a little bit. But mostly it just hurts, fighting." She returned the squeeze, hand gentle, and bit her lip. "I know it will be alright soon. He'll come to his senses. He... loves you. Too much not to."

[dishabille-mal.livejournal.com]

"Yes," Maladicta agreed. "It mostly just hurts." She blinked a little and swallowed, then looked over at Sacharissa, steadily. She squeezes her hand again.

"You know, you're my dearest friend," she said. Coming from someone else's mouth- say, Jane's- it would have been significantly more sentimental. From Maladicta, it was a simple statement of fact.

"And not just because Polly's gone," she added, voice almost cutting out, certainly dropping to a sort of whisper. "I know you said to stop, but- thank you."

[headline-maker.livejournal.com]

How badly she wanted to say something... but there was too much on Maladicta now, and while it might have been easy - relatively easy, at least, which was still very hard indeed - to lean over and kiss her, to tell her she loved her, always would - she didn't need the extra burden. It would have been cruel, Sacharissa thought, so she bit her lip - literally - and nodded.

"There is no one," she said slowly, softly, "so dear to me as you. William... is my best friend. But I... I do not think --" Swallowing hard, she cut herself off. "It's what friends do. I couldn't be anything but here for you. Now get some rest."

[dishabille-mal.livejournal.com]

Maladicta nodded a little.

"Yes," she said, "that... rest would be good." She offered Sacharissa a wan sort of smile, scooting easily back onto the bed.